“one step closer…

….than ever before to perfecting this art of living.”

At least that’s what Hallmark has to say on the subject of turning 30.

Don’t they make it sound so disarming. As if we are all white collar Picassos with our children, mortgages, and SUV’s for paint colors. But then I don’t have any of these ‘colors’ to begin with. (Unless you count a Scion xb as an SUV)

Oh, the inspiration is there, trust me on that. It just seems as if my status in ‘living’ is not up to par. Where is why I’m finding it hard to be 30.

I have a great wife (amazing woman- she writes here alot too) but no kids, no house, no IRA’s or 401K’s (I don’t really know that I’m sure of what they are), no savings account, or even a stable career (I still work through a staffing agency). While I understand these aren’t necessities–they are nonetheless evidences of someone moving closer to perfecting this thing called living.

I know what you’re thinking. The normal Christian response is, “Jesus didn’t start his public ministry until he was 30.” NEWS FLASH!!! Jesus was the Son of GOD, GOD in human form- hello! Is this thing on! We are talking Supreme Divinity here! His entire life had a purpose and it was perfectly lived out!

But wait….Isn’t there somewhere in the story where Jesus says, let this cup pass from me, didn’t he wrestle with the fact that he had to do what he had to do. It doesn’t sound like he was happy with hs situation at times. Though, ultimately, “Your will be done”. Powerful words for a ‘me driven culture’. Powerful words for even a church culture that seeks to reach the ‘me driven culture’. Because somewhere down the line we have to…no really- HAVE TO!….surrender ‘me’. Even bolder, sacrifice ‘me’.

It seems a bit hard to swallow but it is throughout the Bible: “I must decrease, so that he may increase”, offer your bodies as a ‘living sacrifice’, “To die is gain”. One particular Sunday, Pastor Jeff said that ‘God wants to kill us’ – and never has it been more true. “Me” is an obstacle that is always hard to overcome.

And what does all this have to do with turning 30. Everything, really, to me anyway. The struggle I face is that God’s plan doesn’t always allow us to meet our ideal status quo. Alot of times we aren’t always happy with certain situations but nonetheless we must trust him and continue to follow his lead. We must sacrifice our plans in favor of his. After all, HE IS GOD!

Would I like to have kids by now? -sure….Would I like to be able to afford a house with a nice backyard?- of course…..Do I wish I had more stable employment making full use of my ministry degree….everyday of my life.

Try as I may, I cannot ‘perfect’ living, but my life can fit his plans…perfectly.


PS-  this picture came out much smaller than I had hoped, but nonetheless would be the perfect b-day present.  Fender Strat Relic (Nash) in Faded Fiesta Red available at http://www.philsguitars.com/elsolid.html.  So if you have an extra $1600 lying around that would be awesome.  I can dream can’t I!

‘happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me……’


2 responses

  1. -j

    30 aint so bad. Sure you sag a lot more and hair grows in weird places and quits in others. I think you’ll like it quite nice.

    August 14, 2006 at 1:58 am

  2. jbk

    Did you get your new guitar in the mail yet?

    August 16, 2006 at 11:50 pm

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